Route: Lima – Huaraz
Cost: 50 soles (no terminal fee)
22:15-6:15 (8 hours)
The only other gringos were a French couple, and I swapped my seat with the boyfriend so that they could sit together. Unfortunately, my good deed for the day landed me behind the fattest person on the bus, whose first action was – of course – to tilt his seat back as far as it would go and then give it a good bounce, pounding my poor defenceless legs.
He then placed his fat blubby hand over the back of the seat, a few inches from my face, before hanging the lump of flesh that constituted his other arm from the luggage rail, thereby completely obscuring my view of the television. After about fifteen minutes, when it became clear that the arm was to be a permanent fixture, I asked him to kindly lower it. As it happened I missed nothing of the film (Cameron Diaz as a bad money-grubbing middle-school teacher) because it stalled and so we had to watch the first 3 scenes again.
Revenge against the fat man was mine when the woman who sat in front of him jerked her seat back quite suddenly, so spilling his coffee all over his lap. He gruntingly yelped and let out a series of exasperated expletives. I smiled wryly.